


The Rest is Silence

by historymiss



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-07
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2018-02-16 12:24:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2269584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/historymiss/pseuds/historymiss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky Barnes discovers silence early on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Rest is Silence

Dad goes silent the day mom dies, and it's about the only thing that whole year Bucky understands. He talks, sure, but his voice is quiet, not there somehow, and they all recognise that some things are just too big and bleak for words to fill. Even Becca, whose chatter usually spreads from one corner of the house to the other, even she doesn't have anything to say. Bucky is too young to know about raw, wild grief, the kind that howls. Death is silent, and so they are silent in its wake.

\--

It's a drama that they repeat a few years later, after all. Just the two of them. Everyone else has something to say, and Bucky knows there's things he could be saying to Becca- should be, even, things that will make her life easier or the loss less, somehow. Instead, he stands with her as they fill in the grave, his tongue solid and still in his mouth, and holds her hand tightly, both of them small and dizzy against the whole wide surface of the world.

\--

Steve doesn't understand- words come easy to him. Bucky signs up without even thinking about it, much less talking. There are some things that should be obvious. There are some things that just don't need words. Steve wants to talk about it anyway, a whole monologue of reasons that always come down to why you and not me, why am I chained to this body when I could be with you.

Bucky doesn't have any reasons for him. There are none that would sound fair, and certainly none that would be true. Why you and not me? Better, Bucky thinks, to say, _I can go, so I'm going. Be safe._

_\--_

His voice comes in stuttering static. Sergeant James Barnes. 325575.

Eventually, they take that away from him, too. No words seem to matter as much after that.

\--

He waits to see if they make him talk. The Soldier was not silent: Pierce in particular would always try to prise answers from between his clenched teeth. This new man, though? The one that awoke on the helicarrier, among the smoke and fire? He's got nothing to say, not any more. All of his questions, after all, were answered only in blood.

So he waits, to see if they make him talk. But they don't. Just sit and ask questions, on and on until the words dry up and the silence is left and he sets his jaw, lowers his chin, and wonders if this kid from SHIELD can tell that there's nothing inside to answer him.


End file.
